The Answer....!

You’ve gotta love the NSW Police Service. Even after they retire, cops are still able to fix more or less all the problems of the world.What’s that? Shame they couldn’t fix them before they retire? Well funny you should say that…A little while ago the Sydney Morning Herald found out that motorcycles can fall over, a discovery that prompted the usual ‘lock up your sons’ terror story in the Friday car sales insert, appropriately called ‘Drive’. But of course the story also winkled out all the experts with their answers to the motorcycling mayhem that infests our streets both day and night, and even in between. Never mind that per capita and kilometers ridden, motorcycling is safer than ever; this confederacy of boring old pisscutters and ivory tower academics can tell you a thing or two!

One response was at last interesting, because the retired writer used to be head of the NSW Police driver training centre in Goulburn. Chris Bult rides bikes, as well, but gosh, he’s still capable of just slightly derogatory snap judgements.

‘Generally speaking,’ he writes, ‘the average bike rider is a far greater thrill seeker and risk taker than the average car driver.’

Seeing that he’s capable of such terrific psychological insight, I wonder if he can explain why he allowed all the police motorcyclists he trained at Goulburn to ride on the job in totally inadequate safety gear? I mean, here we’ve got this bunch of uniformed ‘thrill seekers’ on the road, but they’re wearing jodhpurs borrowed from the horse police and jackets made from paper thin fashion leather, not proper leather jackets. And no protective inserts, either! This was a scandal for years; didn’t you know, ex-Chief Inspector?

But there’s more. He’s also concerned that ‘the addition of traction control and anti-lock brakes will simply lead to… younger riders believing they can take even greater risks…’ Yeah, right. Why don’t we make them ride without brakes entirely? That’d slow ’em down! And you old codgers in the back there can stop sniggering as well. Chris Bult has something to say to you, too.

‘Any technological advancement would be a distinct safety advantage to the older rider, especially now their reactions, co-ordination and skills are not what they once were.’ It would be interesting to know how he explains that older riders are relatively so much safer than younger ones, seeing they’re so decrepit. And here’s his final answer to the ‘idiotic behaviour’ of motorcyclists – more police enforcement. Not aimed at cars, which cause such a huge part of the problem; at bikes, using unmarked motorcycles.

Maybe the riders will at least get proper safety gear, then.